anger again

I really should control my anger.
I just feel so useless atm, like I want to cry. I want to tell them but another feeling says no don't tell them they might break your heart.

ahhh i dunno what to do
(cries and kicks a wall)
help

Last night/end of month 2

Well, last night was fun :)
Had a nice meal at Toby Carvery and then took loads of pictures (well I didn't take the pictures) after the meal we went to Sainsburys to buy alcohol and then we all stood in a field drinking. Some people drunk more than others and are now regretting it and others just didn't drink at all. Was a little scary though once we got to the field. The birthday boy then left at around 10ish to go to a pub with another mate so the rest of us were all left in the field. 4 people left to sit in trees so me and a few other people were left, felt kind of awkward so I signed into MSN on my phone aha. #
Finally texted my mum to come pick me up and I somehow got lost which was scary, seeing as I live in the area :S but luckily I found my way :)
Now I am safe at home.

Also today is the last day of the month ''February'' woop. March tomorrow, yay. Then it will be April and then it will be May, yay for May. I only want it to be May so that it can be my birthday. Lol. I sound so gullible, ahhh.

Well im gonna go now
bye
xxxx

Celebrations

Happy Birthday Mark (I know you won't read this but meh)
Woo can't wait till tonight, I am off out to celebrate it with a load of friends and the birthday boy himself. All off for a nice meal and then to the field for a booze up. Cannot wait ><

Today was a total and utter disaster though. I won't go into details incase the people read this as I know they do but all I am going to say is STOP DENYING YOU LIKE HER! because you fucking do, its just that I like you too and you'd never know.
I think I've said a little too much.

Ah im hungry, I really should go and cook something but I don't want to overeat and then get to the restaurant and then say ''I am not hungry'' hmmm. Ravioli and toast it is I think. Lol.

Well, I am going to go now as I need to get myself all glammed up. Oh no I can't go. My person has just signed in

cya
xxxx

Urgh

What a bore today was.
Waste of a day, poor day too. Luckily an old friend of mine came to the rescue; with money :)
A few weeks ago I lent her money to get bus home as she faced a 45 minute walk so, me being a kind citizen, lent her the £1.50 bus fare so she could get home without being stabbed. Well, you know what Britain is like now...Today she finally gave the money back so I had money for food. Yay.
Hmmm what else happened today? Well, my brother missed about 2 hours of school to go to the dentist, lucky him for missing that much school but aha bout the dentist part.

Tomorrow is friday. Woop. Party time for me again :) oh yes. Well it isn't really a party, but a birthday meal for a friend of mine. Bout 20 of us going and we're all going to try and pack in this small restaurant somehow and have a merry old time hehe, well I hope it's merry anyway

ahhh i'm gonna go before I cough my guts up, yes I am still ill but im still going out tomorrow. I get to wear a dress ahaha
xxxx

Goodbye

No no no. I'm not going anywhere, don't all cry at once (lol what a bad joke). My half term is saying goodbye, for tomorrow, I am back to college. Oh yay *sarcasm*

I am kind of excited, yet not pleased at the same time. There is something inside of my head going "OMFG you're going back to college, be happy Amanda." No, just no. When I think of that thing then I will be happy about it, but for now, I will be miserable.
So today, I spent my last free day out with friends. I know some people usually spend it sleeping all day as they like to make the most of it but I decided I would rather hang with my friends as I sometimes get bored being in my house alone whilst my brother is out/at school and my parents are at work. I sometimes feel grateful for the silence that you usually feel when experience being home-aloneness but it can get a little boring after a while.

UPDATE; on my health: the headache has gone, the dizziness has gone. But I still have the annoying sore throat. Its decided to partner up with a runny nose. So now, whilst I try and socialise with people; it will be like "Hi, -sniff- how are you? -cough, sniff-" Its so annoying. Was talking to one of my friends today and they said "Have you got a cold?" Do I have a cold? No I fucking don't. I'm not coughing badly...Its just a stupid sore throat which makes me sound like I have. Still need to find out how I got it though, hmmmmmmmmmm. It's a mystery to me.

Well, I have to go now. Dinner calls.
Ciao
xxxxx

Idiots

IHATEYOU

I hate when I feel hatred for other people but what was just said to me was out of order.
How could you? I thought you were my friend.
-cries myself a river-
What was said to me was that mean, urgh

=[
Sorry that I'm blogging this but I needed to say this somewhere and couldn't be bothered to log onto myspace and write a bulletin bout it like I usually do

yes

What a lame title, I didn't know what else to name this.

But, I feel a lot better than I did yesterday. Still got the sore throat but everything else has disappeared. I think I just needed sleep as I went two days without it. Silly me. Thank you for the messages some of you left me on MSN saying "Get well soon" they helped loads aha.

So today is the 3rd day (or shall I say 5th day if i include the weekend) of half term and I have done absolutely nothing at all today. All I have done is stayed in bed. How lazy is that? But I did promise myself yesterday I would stay indoors all day, I'm so lazy that I'm even wearing my jimjams still lol!
Mum topped up my mobile phone today, yay mum :) so i'm finally able to text my friends instead of sitting infront of my laptop all day waiting for people who I desperately need to talk to; to show up on MSN. Woop :)

Well, I dunno what else to say.
So, I'm going to head off now.
Oh yeah, if you have MSN and got my addy; talk to me. If not; ask me for it and I will tell you it as I'm really bored on MSN atm. No one is speaking to me =[

Regrets

I regret going on the pill now. =[
I feel so ill, I hate it. Lightheaded, hot flushes, stomach ache and lack of sleep. I have work to attend to in 2 hours time. Im gonna dread it as I know I won't be able to come home as my dad hates it when I return home from work early. But I cannot help it if I feel ill. Luckily, after today, I won't have work again till next weekend.

Last night, I said I wanted to attend another party, well thats now changed. I really cannot be bothered, I will return to my party self when I feel better again. Which I hope is soon because I hate feeling like this.

Well, I'm going now as I don't know what else to mention in this add. So bye
xxxxx

What a night

Yesterday was awesome :)

Went to a party, well social gathering lol but oh well. Played twister. I so could have won if Joe didn't hit my bum so it made me lose my balance. But don't worry people, I got my own back and hit him so he didn't win either. Hahaha.
Didn't drink much but somehow I threw up, very strange, I blame the dinner I ate. It tasted dodgy.
Hmmm, what else happened last night? I think two of my friends got together as the guy couldn't stop smiling all night. Hmmm I will find out by the girl when she's online later tonight hehe.
Was funny when me and Stuart signed into msn on my phone and spoke to Michael. I was speaking to him whilst playing rockband. How cool am I? Drumming and chatting on msn at same time. Im too cool aha.

Urgh I got work in less than an hour and I really do not want to go as I ache all over. Stomach, head, feet, hands, back....you name it and it will probably ache. Lol.
I really want to sleep =[ hope work will let me hehe. Unlikely, boo.

Well I'm gonna go now and get ready for work
byeeee
xxxx

I just had to...

repost another blog, its kind of a waste but I felt like I had to say this.

I am obsessed with this song ''Fuck You'' by Lily Allen.
I blame Blake and John at college making me like this song. They both keep playing it via their iPods and have now got me hooked on this song. Its so random.

I recommend you listen to it
Just type FUCK YOU- Lily Allen into youtube.

coffee rush

Don't you just love the hype you get from coffee? I do.
Although I think im crashing now as I feel all hfhfhfkgsctrky :( the downside of a coffee rush.

Its half term yay :) so happy. Been waiting for a week off college for ages. Don't go back now till next thursday yayayayayayayay. Another downside, I don't get money till next friday, so im going to have a money free half term. BOO!
Bad thing, I have a party to attend tomorrow night so have no idea how I am going to manage to buy alcohol. I shall have to use my battering the eyelashes technique with the lads to bribe my way to free booze ahaha. I hope it works.

It rained today when I dropped Stuart off at the station. Was NOT impressed one bit as I straightened my hair, now my hair is all curlywurly!DISAPPOINTED SKY DISAPPOINTED! aha. I will have to restraighten it now.
I'm craving more coffee *feels glad I have a can of Red Bull next to me* I have a serious caffeine addiction, I dislike it. I think I might need to cut down.

EEEEEEEEEEEE i get to apply for universities soon, yippee! Dunno what unis to apply for thought. I don't want to go to uni in the south/south east england though. I'm kind of sick of Southern England now (including London) Well I do LOVE london as its my hometown but I would never do education there as i've already been educated there from the ages of 4-13. Then moved to sussex and have been educated from 13 till present. Would be nice to be educated somewhere other than the south.

I'm gonna shut up now and continue listening to my music and reply to my msn convos

cyaaaa
xxxx

Social Gatherings

love love love love them
I really do. That's my reason why I haven't updated my blog in a short while.

So yeah, on Thursday night, a group of us went out to a friends house for a social gathering. It was great :) I would name names but I would be here for a little while plus I am too lazy to try and remember who was there.
It involved loads of stuff. Match-making, watching skins also mighty boosh and some other random shows, socialising, dancing madly down the street whilst walking to the house and some other random stuff. Oh yeah, also having to share the bed that I got given FOR MYSELF AND JUST ME by 3 other people.
lmao that was funny (dancing on way to the house) ''Cos your hot and your cold, your yes and your no, your in and your out, your up and your down...'' ahhh so so funny. Specially the dance Naomi and I created to it. What made it even better and funnier was that it then started snowing. aha.
Didn't get to sleep till 6am though :L

Little angry now :( because I was meant to go to another party tonight but couldn't due to me having to go to work and finishing late and also parents saying no, I'm also recovering from Thursday. But what has made me angry is a few friends said they weren't going to go but they have. Very disappointed, I think I might cry lol. Nah I won't cry. But yes, angry.
I'm gonna call it a gay party now because its all boys there aha! What gays ahaha! Plus the party is on Valentines Day lmao!

Happy Valentines Day people :) I hate Valentines Day. Nothing good ever happens to me on this day

xxxx

Welcome back

...to my world.
Happiness has entered my head again. Yay :)

Sorry about that. OMG I am sooooo happy. I can tell this week is going to be amazing.
Monday; Off shopping in town before I go to college
Tuesday; Nothing
Wednesday; Nothing
Thursday; Last day of college (kind of) and then party time with the boys
Friday; Hangover :L and day off college
Saturday; Off out with the boys and then off out with the girls in the evening
Sunday; Work

but eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee happyhappy happy

Half term is going to be amazing too. :D:D:D:D
Well Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday won't because I have to go into college those three days but they are giving us our half term back so Thursday to Thursday will be with half term before. ROLL ON 19TH FEB :D:D:D

I'm gonna go now before I spazz anymore

xxxx

losing you

Oh yes. Fucking brilliant!!!!
That's peed me off now. Thank you very much
___
Im sorry my blog has turned into this but this week has been a right disaster!
*cries*

stupid

Well that was a waste of time. Seriously.
Why do I even bother. I might as well tattoo ''useless and pathetic'' to my forehead. I swear he is blind. My friends and I even dropped hints. But no, he didn't notice. What else do I have to do to get you to notice me? Fly a plane and spell it out using the smoke from the exhaust pipe to tell you.

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck!

why can't my confidence levels be sky high? *cries*
Walking home from college was the worst walk ever, specially when crying.
How can he like ''her''? Urgh, she's not even pretty! ¬_¬
I feel so crushed its horrible, i don't like the feeling, its like someone's ripped my heart out. A bit like heartbreak.

what can I do? I tried not liking them but the feeling won't go away. Its like its stapled to me. IHATEIT!!!! helppppppppppppppppppppp

*cries some more*

Day 2 of Snow Day

Snow Day in England, Great Britain.
LOVE IT! :)
Another college day off because weather is so bad that college cant open. WOOP WOOP!
Built a snowman yesterday, called him bob, he died this morning (cries) so im going to rebuild him later.


ah boo, i gotta go. I'm needed
byeeeee

Goodbye January and hello February

Wow. Its 1st February. January went quick, seriously.
Not much happening for me this month. I dislike February. Mainly because in 14 days time it will be Valentines Day. I don't celebrate it as I don't need to. Why do single people need to celebrate it?
Got my second ''[prevent'' cancer jab thing this month. BOO! It hurt the first time I had it last month, why do I need it again. Luckily the third dose is in August which is ages away, I like that.

Sorry I haven't been blogging much, been kind of busy working and at college etc.
Oooooo because its feb 1st it means I need to change my background pic. Any ideas? It would be appreciated
Well, I'm gonna go now.
Byeeee
xxxx

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